There Is a Sucker Born Ev'ry Minute

Barnum's the name
P.T. Barnum!
And whether you think my humbug's a blessin' or a curse
You're still gonna buy it
Why?
Because ev'ry sixty seconds in this world
A delightful phenomenon takes place
Which absolutely guarantees it!

There is a sucker born ev'ry minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide
And though I feed 'em bonafide baloney
With no truth in it
Why you can bet I'll find some rube to buy my corn
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute
And I'm referring to the minute you was born

Each blessed hour brings sixty of 'em
Each time that wooden cuckoo shows his face
Another sucker takes his place
And plunks his quarter on the line
To buy my brand of genuine malarkey
God bless and love 'em!
But don't feel sad or hoppin' mad or cause a scene
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute
But Ma'am you mighta been the minute in between

If I allow that right here in my hands
The smallest living human man
The sight of that is surely worth a dime
If I present an educated pooch
Who's trained to dance the hoochie cooch
What better way to waste a bit of time?
If I import at monumental cost
A lady, fair, who's head was lost
While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias
Who eats farina through a hose
And wears pink tights instead of clothes
If that ain't worth a buck my name ain't Phineas
Aw you say that's hog wash, well who cares?
You'll buy my hog wash long as

There's a sucker born ev'ry minute
Each time that second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide
And though my tale is bonafide baloney
Just let me spin it
And ain't no man who can resist me, wait and see
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute
And friends, the biggest one excluding none is me!