Subterranean Homesick Blues

While Johnny's in the basement
Mixin' up the medicine
I was on the pavement
Thinkin' 'bout the government

The man in the trench coat
Badge out, laid off
Says he's got a bad cough
Wants to get it paid off

Look out, kid
Somethin' you did

God knows when
But you're doin' it again
You better duck down in the alley way
Lookin' for a new friend

Man in the coonskin cap
By the big pen
Wants 11 dollars but
You only got seven

Here comes fleet foot
Face full of black soot
Talkin' that the heat put
Plants in the bed, uh

Phone's tapped anyway
Maggie says that many say
They must bust in early May
Orders from the D. A.

Look out, kid
Don't matter what you did

Walk on your tip toes
Don't try NoDoz
Better stay away from those
That carry around a fire hose

Keep a clean nose
Watch out for plain clothes
Don't need a weatherman
To know which way the wind blows

Get sick, get well
Hang around a ink well
Ring the bell, hard to tell
If anything is gonna sell

Try hard, get barred
Get back, write braille
Get jailed, jump bail
Join the army if you fail

Get born, keep warm
Short pants, romance, learn to dance
Get dressed, get blessed
Try to be a success

Please her, please him, buy gifts
Don't steal, don't lift
20 years of schoolin'
And they put you on the day shift

Look out, kid
They keep it all hid

Better jump down a manhole
Light yourself a candle
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid scandals

Don't wanna be a bum
You better chew gum
The pump don't work
'Cause the vandals took the handles