Black Rose

"Whatever happens in the end, I don't wanna lose you as my friend."
"I promise, I will never be your friend, no matter what. Ever."

It was December 24th when my chest caved in
And my everything called to say "Let's stay friends"
Well, not quite, she used me beautifully
And with that empty tone she can sing my eulogy
And now I feel like I'm ugly once again
Her excuses start to fill my empty stomach to the brim
The room starts to spin and I cry till I dry-heave
I am a dying piece of her past
Just another band-aid, she needs to relax
Until she justifies my pain with a reason that lacks
See, I just wanted her to see herself like I do
Beautiful but she speaks her lies in haiku
So resurrect me, teach me where to go from here
And I will script to melody with meanings that are so sincere
Her frozen tears are streaming down the sculpted ice
Giving me the coldest bite every time I hold it tight
I'm masochistic when I love you till my heart bleeds
I'll love you till I break when I'm running from your sharp teeth
I'm out of breath as I hang onto the broken glass
Picking up the pieces being strangled by a photograph
And she's a black rose trapped in cracked roads that can't grow
But still I'm lost in her splendor
And I'm an idiot minus the savant
When I'm trying to move on but choose not to remember

"Wait a second."
"What?"
"Where are you?"
"I'm here."
"I didn't say you could come here."
"Can I come there?"

I spent the midnight admiring your crooked edges
Juggling with history and times that we mistook as head trips
And look for exits from green eyes that haunt me
At these times of wanting to idolize your good intentions
It's not a friendship, it's a see-saw torment
I'm down on all fours for it and she's all for it
I used to find a little piece of solace in your breathing pattern
Fair in war and love, but you were cautious when you reached the latter
Weren't you? Love, do you believe in angels?
Or just an instability and using me to scapegoat
I held your flaws and the beauty that you mangled
And I told you that I loved them just so that you could see your halo
And when she lies I'm a casualty of that
And when she said she loved him I felt my galaxy collapse
I'm dancing to the heartbreak, while echoes make a point of it
I've never felt like this
I think about you in these nightmares and daydreams
Holding onto memories in times where we'd make peace
But you're a pantomime, a witch-hunt for truth
You have so many faces, tell me which one is you
And you could be with him or anybody else
But they will never love you the way that this somebody felt
But now it's over 'cause he finally broke the surface
I just want to say goodbye and that I really hope it's worth it

"If we fuck I'm gonna feel like shit tomorrow."
"That's okay with me. "
"I love you. I never hurt you on purpose."
"I don't care."

"I promise, I will never be your friend, no matter what. Ever."