Christmas Rappin'

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through-
Hold it now, wait, hold it, that's played out
Hit it!

Don't you give me all that jive
About things you wrote before I was alive
'Cause this ain't 1823, ain't even 1970
Now I'm the guy named Kurtis Blow and Christmas is one thing I know
So every year just about this time, I celebrate it with a rhyme

Gonna shake it, gonna bake it, gonna make it good
Gonna rock shock rock it through your neighborhood
Gonna ring it, gonna sing it 'til it's understood
My rappin' 'bout to happen, like the knee you was slappin'
Or the toe you been tappin' on a hunk of wood

'Bout a red suited dude, with a friendly attitude
And a sleigh full of goodies for the people on the block
Got a long white beard, maybe looks kind of weird
And if you ever see him he can give you quite a shock

Now people, let me tell ya about last year
When the dude came flying over here
Well the hawk was out, the snow's on the ground
Folks stayed in to party down
The beat was thumping on the box
And I was dancing in my socks
And the drummer played at a solid pace
And a taste of the bass was in my face

And the guitar player laid down a heavy layer
Of the funky junky rhythm of the disco beat
And the guy with the 88 started to participate
And I could sure appreciate a sound so sweet

We were all in the mood so we had a little food
And a joke, and a smoke, and a little bit of wine
When I thought I heard a hoof on top of the roof
Could it be or was it me? I was feeling super fine
So I went to the attic where I thought heard the static
On a chance that the prance was somebody breaking in
But the noise on the top was a reindeer clop
Just a trick St. Nick, and I let the sucker in

He was roly, he was poly and I said, "Holy moly"
You got a lot of whiskers on your chinny, chin, chin
He allowed, he was proud of the hairy little crowd
On the point of his jaw where the skin should've been
Get's cool for a fool throwin' out here for you
For a day on a sleigh where the cold winds blow
So the beard may be weird but I never have a chill
'Cause it's warm in the storm when it's ten below

I said, "You're right it's cold tonight
Can you stop for a drop before you go?"
He said, "Why not if the music's hot?
And I'll chance a dance beneath the mistletoe"
So he went downstairs and forgot his cares
And he rocked the spot and danced like a pro
And every young girl tried to rock his world
But he boogie oogie oogied 'til he had to go

And before he went this fine old gent
Finding gifts, went to sift through his big red bags
In the top for the bottom he reached in and got toys
For the boys, and for the girls glad rags

And the grownups got some presents too
A new TV and a stereo
A new Seville 'bout as blue as the sky
The best that money couldn't buy
'Cause money could never ever buy the feelin'
The one that comes from not concealin'
The way you feel about your friends
And this is how the story ends

The dude in red's back at the pole
Up north where everything is cold
But if he were right here tonight
He'd say, "Merry Christmas and to all a good night"