(Memento Mori)

It happens nearly every night
I walk circles to find my feet and challenge expectations made of me
It's all brown and red and white and green
Those memories in the head replayed explode in colors perfectly
I come home when I feel ready
Throw my sweatshirt on the back of the chair
and sit until the breathing comes in shallow and slow
I make circles with the stars
Cause sitting seems so senseless it's the sitting
that makes me stagnant it makes me sick

I won't apologize for all my lives
And I expect no one to stand by them
Don't ask what I do I'll say no more than you
But not as much as I want and far more than I can prove

Dawns best spent on mainlines
Paralleling rivers strong with breeze I can't catch but I retain
Are transitions made with ease for you
When you wake up and don't know where you are
can you laugh and take the moment as your own
Why keep trying to belong
Why make commitments with people who tomorrow won't remember your name
or your face or all you are
I always rise up with the dawn
Cause morning means I've beat death and I'll kill the day alone
or with those I love and that's all

I won't apologize for all my lives
And I expect no one to stand by them
Don't ask what I do I'll say no more than you
Not as much as I want and far more than I can prove

Do you remember mistakes made
Do you really feel joy and pain or are you content now to simply sit there numb
I know I can't stop the ticking
But I won't let time defeat me or take my ambitions or goals
or rob me of all my wants and all I've done
All dressed as what you hate
Just waiting around to wait wondering exactly
what is meant or why it is too much bare
Fuck that challenge what you've made
Leave nothing undone or unsaid beat the day remember your death

I won't apologize for all my lives
And I expect no one to stand by them
Don't ask what I do I'll say no more than you
Not as much as I want and far more than I can prove