The Hostess With The Mostes' On The Ball

I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand
One day father started digging in a field
Hoping to find some soil

He dug and he dug and what do you think?
Oil, oil, oil
The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high
Washington was my destination
And now who am I?

I'm the chosen party giver
For the White House clientele
And they know that I deliver
What it takes to make 'em jell

And in Washington I'm known by one and all
As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
They could go to Elsa Maxwell
When they had an axe to grind

They could always grind their axe well
At the parties she designed
Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball

I've a great big bar and good caviar
Yes, the best that can be found
And a large amount in my bank account
When election time comes 'round

Entertaining vodka drinkers
Is a job they give to me
Making nice guys out of stinkers
Seems to be my cup of tea

What they really need behind the iron wall
Is the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
In the handbag that I'll carry
there's a precious little note
to their highnesses from Harry
introducing me he wrote
"I'll appreciate a favor large or small
For the hostess, who's the hostest, with the mostes' on the ball"