Chop Chop

I'm tasked with your assassination
But I don't like confrontation
I would much prefer a quiet hit & run

But at combat I am cruddy
and stabbing gets too bloody
and it isn't sportsmanlike to use a gun

Swords are really not my style
Poison capsules take a while.
Though the interaction's what I mostly dread

But when my hand is at the ready
and my arm is strong and steady
I can chop you in the ass until you're dead

And I'm like CHOP! CHOP!
and the henchmen hit the floor
when I go CHOP! CHOP!
They won't be henching anymore

It doesn't look the best
But it moves me on my quest
Don't act like you're not impressed

You're under orders, and I get that
but I'm not so great at chit chat
It's not personal, you're stationed in my way

I guess I could try to seduce you
But that isn't what I'm used to
And sexy spies are kind of a cliché

I'm not troubled by the killing
But I find I'm less than willing
To avail myself of anybody's gaze

I'm not a brute, I'm not a terrorist
I'm just easily embarrassed
And gunfire only adds to my malaise

So I go CHOP CHOP
and the bad guys hit the ground
when I go CHOP CHOP
And they make the weirdest sound

One part yodel, two parts scream
Yet your partner doesn't seem
To notice that you took one for the team

So am all CHOP CHOP
They can't see me when I squat
So I go CHOP CHOP
Might sound sexy, but it's not

There's no technique or grace
When I'm chopping your third base
I just don't want to look you in the face

So I go CHOP CHOP
Then am like CHOP CHOP

It isn't so unkind it's just what I've been assigned
It's a job I can't really get behind.