Christmas In Rehab

It's christmas, in rehab, and everyone's all here,
To dry up from the drinks and drugs we've done throughout the year,
We've got junkies, and crackheads, coke fiends, and tweakers too,
And lots of alcoholics, and one guy who sniffs glue. (That's me!)

It's christmas in rehab, we've made a christmas list,
Of all the things we want to tell our staff psychiatrist,
We know drinking and drugging have made our minds impaired,
And everybody knows we're here because we ain't all there.

We're all feelin' merry, because we're clean and dry,
And this is our first christmas, when we ain't drunk or high.

It's christmas in rehab, we've started our own band,
Ira Dean on bass, and on guitar is Keith Urban,
Billy Currington, Joe Nichols, put Mindy on a bummer,
But she cheered up when she found out, Cledus T.'s their drummer.

(Spoken)
Gimme, gimme them drumsticks, hang on,
hey there we go, tom tom, bass drum, kick plate... never mind.

We smoke lots of cigarettes, and drink strong coffee too,
To make up for the other things we used to love to do,
I'm on santa's list because i've been here more than twice,
I know i've been naughty, but i'm trying to be nice.

(Refrain)

It's christmas in rehab, we're going to achieve
Emotional sobriety, or they won't let us leave,
It's christmas in rehab, we're full of christmas cheer,
And we know if we relapse we'll be back again next year.

(Spoken)
Gimme a drink.