It's Ok I Wouldn't Remember Me Either

I don't want to be awake again
I spend my days with my head in my hands
If I go outside, I'll fall apart
I am mostly scared by passing time
The world, it seems, gets more unkind
Inevitable tragedies will soon be mine

I am looking for an easy place
To mask my thoughts behind my face
Oh, brown-baked column of victory
Maybe I should just pack up and run away again
Let you forget that you were once my friend
Then watch another, go on and do better without me

But I could not go away, not if I wanted to
I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you
These chemical reactions are dividing me
Self-deprecating thoughts interrupting all the time
Emphasising all the traits that I wish weren't mine
They speak louder than everybody

Try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn't bright
Compulsively complaining when I haven't got the right
I hate the way that I think and act
I want to end reality but I feel hesitant
Optimistic that the future will be more concerned than the present
And so for today, I'll remain intact

I don't want to be awake again
I spend my days with my head in my hands
If I go outside, I'll fall apart