PK & the Evil Dr. Z

Now this is not a song for the people here on Earth
Ah, this is for my fans on the distant planet Mirth
You know they've had to wait a long time to get a CD from me
And travel very far

Ah, Dr. Z was a time traveler on his way to Mirth
When he dropped into L.A. to see a Dylan concert first
I was there with a rabbi who had wavy purple hair
And we waited by a chain-link fence, he thought Bob might show up there

Now Dr. Z showed up instead and he blew the rabbi's mind
By handing him some object he said was impossible to find
Well, he asked me who I was and would I like to take a trip
And he showed us his two giant crystals, he said they were computers for a ship

Well, we drove to a local sporting store, I bought a ball and gloves
We played catch out on Venice Beach, people watchin' seemed to fall in love
Well, he said he knew I had a magic arm and asked if I'd throw the ball real high
So that it'd bounce from cloud to cloud before it fell back from the sky

We had coffee at the Cow's Inn, he introduced me as PK
Well, the women there must have been Mirthian, they laughed at everything I'd say
Well, it wasn't until later he told me he paid the waiters off in hay
Placed his magic crystals under their table yesterday

Well, he flew to Hawaii, stayed in a house near Red Sand Beach
Where he'd made me collect that driftwood for hours without relief
There under the full moon light where he set that wood ablaze
He'd made a giant jack-o-lantern and I thought it would burn for days

He played softball with Samoan boys and he put something in my Coke
These guys take softball seriously, weighed 300 pounds at least, no joke
Well, I coulda struck 'em all out but I became fearful for my neck
So I threw the batter a cantaloupe and he hit it hard and bobbed my head

Dr. Z complained about the fallin' rain so they put a bag over his head
By the time the guy was rounding second, ball in hand, I looked at him with dread
Well, I coulda thrown him out for sure but I thought these guys would kill me dead
When Z yelled, "Fire up your arm", I did, and let it fly into the sky instead

After the ball came down, Z tagged him out as he lumbered past third base
Well, the entire team and their giant girlfriend cleared the bench and gave us chase
Oh, I nearly forgot to tell you I might have broken my leg early that day
So I hobbled to the car, Z behind the wheel, just like that, we sped away

Well, I really shouldn't say any more but I don't think it would be right
When I flew back by myself to L.A., I arrived early Halloween night
Now for years, the little toddlers never would ring my front door bell
But at night, there were over a hundred under Dr. Z's evil spell