The Bender

All my party people in the place what's up?
I'm super fucked up. All right.
I've done a couple dozen drugs in a couple dozen ways
And I ain't slept in days... Anyways!
So listen up,
I got this shit that you can't get enough
Come and take a trip and board the ship and get your ticket stub
It's hotter than a hot-ass in hot pink hot-pants,
It's the Bender! A brand new dance.
First you step to the left
And run out of breath
So grab the nearest drink that you can find and guzzle what's left
Next you step to the right
Lock it up tight
Order up another round of drinks at happy hour price.
Now shake that ass
To the bathroom and blast
A couple power lines up your nose and choke them back fast.
Clap your hands, fingers pop, stomp your feet
Down another Jager shot and toss it up to the beat.
Now just move with the rhythm,
Spark a pair of joints and hit 'em,
Find your fellow fuck-ups on the floor and wiggle up with 'em,
And tickle 'em, get em, get beneath 'em and freak 'em
Cause this goddamn dance is gonna last all weekend.

(Here we go!)
Penny pinchers!
Big spenders!
Booze and pills and brains in a blender.
Drink til we forget, snort until we remember,
We're gonna do the Bender!
(Forever!)

Penny pinchers!
Big spenders!
Let's stay wasted through December
Drink til we forget, snort until we remember,
We're gonna do the Bender!
(Forever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever!)

Etcetera UH!
That's right,
No need to act right,
Forget about the bad times, man, that was last night!
Feel the beat and flash your yellow teeth by the black light,
Suck down a strong drink,
Make out with the Swamp Thing,
You're crashing you're acting like an amateur on a ski jump,
You could use a key bump,
Hoover two or three up,
(WOO!)
All this fuckin chatterin has got you fuckin thirsty,
Belly back up to the bar for a Patron with Uncle Dirty.
Fall on the ground, put your back into it.
If someone offers you a tab of E just do it.
Renewin it, screwing up your eyes while your dancin,
It's overdue for you to come alive like Frampton.
If your friends leave, let 'em be long forgotten,
You're an oglin monster hobnobbin with hobgoblins,
Smokin pot and doing lines Johnny Rotten AWESOME!

Penny pinchers!
Big spenders!
Booze and pills and brains in a blender.
Drink til we forget, snort until we remember,
We're gonna do the Bender!
(Forever!)

Penny pinchers!
Big spenders!
We can all pretend to be high steppers,
Drink til we forget, snort until we remember,
We're gonna do the Bender!
(Forever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever!)
Everybody do the Bender.
Come on now let's do it, and overdo it. Come on you bunch of fuck ups.
And overdo it again.

Here we go!
Woo!

You've got a lot of scotch to swallow
If you want to follow
Bottom to a rock bottom coffin
Pop a squat coughin,
You got some flocks of spit some in your esophagus,
Rockin this bottomless pit, preposterous bliss.
This is the time, this is the last chance,
To ruin our lives just doin this dance.
And dance to the next level, step it up WE ARE!
Gonna join hands, we're goin to the ER!
What we gonna do? The Bender!
Which drugs we gonna use? Wh-wh-whatever!
The last set of steps is the tricky stuff,
Pick it up, here we go again y'all listen up:
Now step out of your car, put your hands up,
Turn back to the cop "Yo buddy, what's up?!"
Walk a straight line, rock it heels to toes now,
Stop! Tilt your head back, touch your nose.
With your right hand, take hold of the hose and blow,
Put them together and pray it's under point oh eight oh,
Blow enough, get the cuffs and off you go,
Spin it around now you're facing six months or so.
No! But while you're doing hard time,
You can have a good time,
You can imbibe juice produced like hooch wine,
You can get some yellow meth and do lines,
That's right, you can do the Bender on the inside!
One more time!

Penny pinchers!
Big spenders!
Booze and pills and brains in a blender.
Drink til we forget, snort until we remember,
We're gonna do the Bender!
(Forever!)

Penny pinchers!
Big spenders!
Now we're gonna boogie with the public defender,
Drink til we forget, snort until we remember,
We're gonna do the Bender!
(Forever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever! And ever!)