Paddy McGinty's Goat

Now, Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note
Fell in for a fortune, and he bought himself a goat
Says he, "Sure of goat's milk I'm going to have me fill!"
But when he bought a nanny home, he found it was a Bill

All the young ladies who live in Killaloe
They're all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do
They each wear a bolster beneath the petty coat
And leave the rest to Providence and Paddy McGinty's goat!

Mrs. Burke to her daughter said, "Listen, Mary Jane
Who was the lad you were cuddling in the lane?
He'd long wiry whiskers all hanging from his chin"
"Twas only Pat McGinty's goat, " she answered with a grin

Then she went away from the village in disgrace
She came back with powder and paint upon her face
She'd rings on her fingers, and she wore a sable coat
You'd bet your life she didn't get those from Paddy McGinty's goat

Now, Norah McCarthy, the knot was going to tie
She washed all her trousseau and she hung it out to dry
Along came the goat and he saw the bits of white
And chewed up all her falderals upon her wedding night

"Oh turn out the light quick!" she shouted out to Pat
For though I'm your bride, sure I'm not worth looking at
I'd had two of everything, I told you when I wrote
But now I've one of nothing, all thro' Paddy McGinty's goat

Mickey Riley, he went to the races t'other day
He won 20 dollars and he shouted, "Hip Hooray!"
He held up the note, shouting "Look what I've got!"
The goat came up and grabbed it and he swallowed up the lot

"He's eaten me banknote," said Mickey with the hump
They ran for the doctor, and they got a stomach pump
They pumped and they pumped for that 20 dollar note
But all they got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat

Now old Paddy's Goat had a wonderous appetite
And one day for breakfast, he had some dynamite
A whole box of matches he swallowed all serene
Then out he went and swallowed up a quart of paraffin

He sat by the fireside, he didn't give a hang
He swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang
So if you go to heaven, you can bet a dollar note
That the Angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's Goat