This Time

one

Life is hot can make you perspire
this last winter I walked through the fire

My brother called me from NYC
to say moms losing the battle with the C

Felt like the second push out of the next
with the weight of this universe all of my chest

I was at the house a week before
saw things heard things like never before

She was weak doing the dance with chemo
looked me in the eyes and smiled like she knows

Or hopes that I'll make good decisions
and that this could be the week of transitions

Trying to figure out where things went wrong
later learned it was just life singing a song

This year the same song came around
it's sang but we turned the sound down

I really thought we could beat the death card
we came from the bottom so we knew how to play hard

This time the song paid us little mind
wondering what might happen this time

Hook

Our father who art in heaven, you opened up the gate for mom about 11
by lunch time the whole world has changed, more proof that nothing ever stays the same

Our father who art in heaven, you opened up the gate for mom about 11
while I was measuring if life was fair, I got hit so hard I'm still up in the air

two

Asking the maker to send some reason
whatever happens don't let this be the season

I guess I didn't want to face the facts
and there were many signs when I think back

About how we use to put our heads in the sand
and just watched her or her faith in command

Of her luck, output, even her life
took a stand to the very end, seldom thought twice

The big C passed point of return
it was a hard one a lesson that we didn't want to learn

The song this time won't wait for an answer
wish that I could have been around for the transfer

At Lincoln Hospital the eighth floor
the day seemed brighter than ever before

That they are just a bit too late
had to muster the strength to articulate

That I'm sick from not being the one
to take you by the hand and say where not done

Hook

Our father who art in heaven, you opened up the gate for mom about 11
by lunch time the whole world has changed, more proof that nothing ever stays the same

Our father who art in heaven, you opened up the gate for mom about 11
while I was measuring if life was fair, I got hit so hard I'm still up in the air

three

Nothing in history felt like this
even before I was notified, started to miss

When I used to call mom every morning at eight
she would call a minute after if I called too late

We used to talk as I drove to work
now I only had echoes they said it would hurt

But I don't feel pain it just feels empty
the steps of grief have not caught up with me

She's in the air I can sense the energy
molecular cohabitation working the prodigy

Got hot feelings about these bad dealings
it's been months and I can't find the healing

It must be raining New York lost a fighter
but the spirit that created me is in this writer

The big C is calling all the shots
10 billion for the cure it still calls the shots

And man I'm going to miss mom's good cook
like so many miss someone's

Besides memories you're my best friend
I'm that's your boy to the last day I'll see you then

Hook

Our father who art in heaven, you opened up the gate for mom about 11
by lunch time the whole world has changed, more proof that nothing ever stays the same

Our father who art in heaven, you opened up the gate for mom about 11
while I was measuring if life was fair, I got hit so hard I'm still up in the air