Second Death in the Rabbit Hole

A glass of wine
In my basement alone
It's not the blood of the lamb
But it warms my throat
I was counting down the days
And felt the calling for the distance
But stay just the same
With little to no resistance

Now I'm sinking to feel sober Like I've never gotten over the past
And my cabin that is failing while my
ship ceases its sailing with every blast
And yeah, I feel exasperated,
I quite doubt that I would make it to the sea
But I'd rather drown fighting for the
ocean than die in a land-locked dream

Can you count the times that I took a step back
Out of all of them, could you please identify my set-back
So maybe next time, I'll take Coke but hold the whiskey
'Cuz disillusioned thoughts can't fill the void I'm missing

Now I'm calling to the water like a harbor of floating disease
With a slight concerning fear that I've exaggerated my lung capacities
And yeah, I feel exasperated,
I quite doubt that I would make it to the sea
But I'd rather drown fighting for the
ocean than die in a land-locked dream
Please save my ship

(I would wipe away every tear from their eyes.
Death is gone for good, tears gone,
crying gone, pain gone. All the for sure things—gone)

I'd like to take my secret habit and throw it down the rabbit hole
I was sober a few years but I guess the
beers just sort of came with coming home
And it tasted far too sweet when it brought
the color back to my cheeks after my heart froze
And it's easy to get away with
whatever when you're, when you're always alone
God, please save my ship