The Bug Song

Now when the good ol' holidays roll around,
I'm the kind of a guy that likes to be found
Just takin' it easy and layin' around- doin' nothin.
But I take my chair and sit on the lawn,
And just when all my cares are gone,
About a million bugs start carryin' on, and I'm cussin';
Some caterpillar from up some tree decides as far as he can see,
There's nothin' to do but to fall on me- the damn worm.
And a dirty ol' fly just makin' it clear,
That he ain't had a bath for over a year,
So he's takin one now in my glass of beer to lose germs.

Bugs Bugs Bugs, If I had dem all in jugs,
I'd dig dig dig, 'til a big big hole was dug dug dug dug dug;
And that would be the end of the bug song,
That would be the end of the bug song.

Well I try to sleep when I get the chance,
But you just can't trust them cursed ants,
They're never satisfied till they're in your pants and you're crawlin'!
With a spider web right across the face;
I'm lookin around for a better place,
'Til a couple of hornets take up the chase and I'm howlin'!
Well I head for the house and I hold my breath
'Til I find some stuff in the medicine chest,
For the welts I got on the spot you guessed-where I'm sittin'!
And the wife gets mad 'cause I forgot
To get stuff for the fleas our kitten caught
Off some old dog on the neighbours lot and she's rippin'!

Bugs Bugs Bugs, If I had dem all in jugs
I'd dig dig dig, 'til a big big hole was dug dug dug dug dug;
And that would be the end of the bug song,
That would be the end of the bug song.

Well I chased that moth from the middle drawer,
That chewed the clothes I used ta wore
And I jammed my thumb on the bedroom door tryin' to catch 'im.
And I'm sure the mosquitoes all know their skill,
'Cause one pryed up my windowsill
And he limped through the air with a broken drill and I'm scratchin'.
You might think I'm a little bit rough,
'Cause I don't take to that nature stuff;
But I think I've just about had enough of them bugs.
Now your backyard might be okay,
But I'm goin' down to buy some spray,
'Cause my little place is walkin' away with them bugs.

Bugs Bugs Bugs, If I had dem all in jugs,
I'd dig dig dig, 'til a big big hole was dug dug dug dug dug;
And that would be the end of the bug song,
That would be the end of the bug song.
I'm gonna dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig...