Big Dummy

Mirror, mirror
What am I, this morning?
(Big dummy!)
What do you call a guy
That ain't got no learning?
(Big dummy!)

I spent every dime that I made last week
And there ain't even lipstick on my cheek
What's another way to say "overly meek?"
(Big dummy!)

I could've kissed her a dozen times, last night
(Big dummy!)
A pretty, little body
And I wouldn't hold it tight
(Big dummy!)

I ran out of gas in my old clunk
And run and got my spare can out of my trunk
Sometimes, I think I ought to have been a monk
(Big dummy!)

It wasn't very late
But I thought I better take her on in
(Big dummy!)
I couldn't hardly talk, for the quivering in my chin
(Big dummy!)

She settled and sat in the parlor awhile
She gave me a wink and a great, big smile
I said, "I better go, gotta drive ten miles"
(Big dummy!)

I got up my nerve next week from my big brother, Luke
(Now, you're talking!)
He told me high-stepping gals don't like a spook
(Uh-uh, uh-uh!)

But, she told me she didn't want me around
Said to go jump in the river and drown
"You're going out with that naughty Bill Brown!"
(Big dummy!)

(Ah, you're a big dummy!)
(Hey, you, you're a big dummy!)
I know it, I know it
(Ya big, fat dummy!)
(Hey, dummy!)
(Hey, you!)