Tevye’s Dream

Help! Help! Help!
Tevye wake up! Wake up! Wake up Tevye!
What's the matter with you?! Why are you howling like that?
Where is she? Where is she? Where is who?
What are you talking about?
Fruma Sarah
Lazer-Wolfe's first wife Fruma Sarah
She was standing here, a minute ago
What's the matter with you Tevye?!
Fruma Sarah has been dead for years
You must have been dreaming
Tell me what you've dreamt, and I'll tell you what it meant
Alright only don't be frightened!
Tell me!
Alright, alright!
This was my dream

In the beginning I dreamt
That we were having a celebration of some kind
Everybody we knew was there, and musicians too
In the middle of the dream in walks
Your grandmother Tzietl, may she rest in peace

Grandma Tzietl, how did she look?

For a woman who's dead thirty years
She looked very good
Naturally, I went up to greet her
And she said to me

A blessing on your head
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
To see a daughter wed
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
And such a son-in-law
Like no one ever saw
The tailor Motel Camzoil

Motel?

A worthy boy is he
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
Of pious family
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
They named him after my
Dear uncle Mordachai
The tailor Motel Camzoil

A tailor? She must have heard wrong, she meant the butcher
You must have heard wrong, grandma, there's no tailor
You mean the butcher, grandma, by the name of Lazer-Wolfe

No, I mean a tailor Tevye, my great grandchild
My little Tzietl who you named for me
Motel's bride was meant to be!
For such a match I prayed
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
In heaven it was made
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
A fine upstanding boy
A comfort and a joy
The tailor Motel Camzoil

But we announced it already
We made a bargain with the butcher
But we announced it, grandma, to our neighbors
We made a bargain, grandma, with the butcher Lazer Wolfe!

No, no, no!
So you announced it, Tevye
That's your headache
But as for Lazer-Wolfe, I say to you
Tevye, that's your headache too!
A blessing on your house
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
Imagine such a spouse
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
And such a son-in-law
Like no one ever saw
The tailor Motel Camzoil
(It was the butcher)
The tailor Motel Camzoil
(It was Lazer-Wolfe)
The tailor Motel Cam—

Shah! Shah! (What, what?)
Look who is this, who is this, who comes here
Who, who, who, who?
What woman is this?
By righteous anger shaken
Could it be, sure
Yes it could, why not
Who could be mistaken?
It's the butcher's wife come from beyond the grave
It's the butcher's dear, darling, departed wife
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah
Fruma Sarah, Fruma Sarah, Fruma Sarah
Tevye! Tevye!
What is this about your daughter marrying my husband?
(Yes, her husband)
Would you do this to your friend and neighbor, Fruma Sarah?
(Fruma Sarah)
Have you no consideration for a woman's feelings?
(Woman' feelings)
Handing over my belongings to a total stranger!
(Total stranger)
How can you allow it, how?
How can you let your daughter take my place
Live in my house
Carry my keys
And wear my clothes, pearls, how?
How can you allow your daughter to take her place?
Pearls! (House)
Pearls! (Keys)
Pearls! (Clothes)
Pearls! (Pearls)
Such a learned man as Tevye wouldn't let it happen
(Let it happen)
Tell me that it isn't true and then I wouldn't worry
(Wouldn't worry)
Say you didn't give your blessing to your daughter's marriage
(Daughter's marriage)
Let me tell you what would follow such a fatal wedding
(Fatal wedding)

If Tzietl marries Lazer-Wolfe
I pity them both
She'd live with him three weeks
And when three weeks are up
I'll come to her by night
I'll take her by the throat
And this I'll give your Tzietl!
That I'll give your Tzietl!
This I'll give your Tzietl!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Here's my wedding present
If she marries Lazer-Wolfe!

It's an evil spirit
May it fall into the river
May it sink into the earth
Such a dark and horrible dream
And to think it was brought on by that butcher (That butcher)
If my grandma Tzietl, may she rest in peace
Took the trouble to come all the way from the other world
To tell us about the tailor
All we can say is that it is all for the best
And it couldn't possibly be any better
Amen (Amen!)

A blessing on my head
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
My Grandma Tzietl said
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
We'll have a son-in-law
Like no one ever saw
The tailor Motel Camzoil
We haven't got the man
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
We had when we began
Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov
But since your grandma came, she'll marry—
What's his name?
The tailor Motel Camzoil (Oh)
The tailor Motel Camzoil
The tailor Motel Camzoil
The tailor Motel Camzoil