All Gall

It's called, "All Gall"
And it'll be sang in three parts
Vive de Gaulle

This old man, he played one
He played knick-knack at Verdun
Cognac, Armagnac, Burgundy and Beaune
This old man came rolling home

This old man, World War II
He told Churchill what to do
Free French general, crosses of Lorraine
He came rolling home again

This old man, he played trois
Vive la France! La France, c'est moi
Gimcrack governments, call me if you please
Colombey-les-deux-Egises

This old man, he played four
Choose de Gaulle or civil war
Come back President, govern by decree
Referendum; oui! Oui! Oui!

This old man, he played five
France is safe, I'm still alive
Plastiques, Pompidou, sing the Marseillaise
Algerie n'est pas Français

This old man, he played six
France and England, they don't mix
Eytie, Benelux, Germany and me
That's my market recipe

This old man, sept et huit
NATO, give me back my fleet!'
Tch-tch, Adena ratified at Bonn
One old man goes on and on

This old man, nine and ten
He'll play Nick 'til God knows when
Cognac, Armagnac, Burgundy and Beaune
This old man thinks he's Saint Joan

Down with the French-speaking walloup and freedom Flanders, that's what I say
It's where my four bears came from, you know
Oh, three of them anyway, who's been sleeping in my porridge
Well now, now I think, now I think we should leave the fantasy world of the news
With all it's, it's fabulous fictional characters like Marlboro rice pudding and
Screaming Lord Hume-hurray!
And that well-known topical comedy team of dimple Neeson Son
They, they don't really exist you know, any more than the Bishop of Woolige really exists
They're just an idea in the mind of God

No, they, they make them uh, they, they-they-they make them up, you know
We have to do something to fill up the pages of the newspapers on
I mean, we know perfectly well that if there are no newspapers
I mean, if there was a strike or a public holiday or something, nothing happens, it's marvellous
Oh, O Tempora O Mores, oh Times, oh Daily Mirror
As, as Lord, Lord Denning, as Lord Denning said in his report
He said that none of this going around saying, no smoke without fire
No combustible, prosumer

No, I think you know, I think we should, uh, it's great fun
This-this whimsical world of current affairs
It's a bit limited, I think you know, I mean you wouldn't wanna hold evil of it, would you?
But I think we should get back to real life now, the things we see around us every day
Like um, the sky at night for example
Swan, uh, has a song on this very subject, a short song
But nonetheless nauseating

Well, be that as it may