Itsy Bitsy Spider

Ralph: The itsy bitsy spider went up the waterspout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again

(pounding sound)
Ralph: What's that sound? Sounds big!
Everybody go "SO BIG!"
Children: "SO BIG!"
Ralph: Well, parking his Harley Davidson in the alley behind the garage
Wearing a black leather biker jacket with a tattoo of a fly on his arm
And a tattoo of a fly on his other arm
And a tattoo of a fly on his other arm
And a tattoo that said "Mom" on the other arm
It was the great big hairy spider. And you know what happened?
Children: What?
Ralph: The great big hairy spider went up the waterspout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
And the great big hairy spider went up the spout again
(Tiny sounds)
Ralph: What's that sound? Sounds tiny!
Everybody go "shhhh" for the baby!
Children: "Shhhh"
Ralph: Well, peering out from under a leaf in the backyard
So small you could barely see her
Wearing a size XXXXXXXXXX-small Old Town School of Folk Music T-shirt
Was the teensy weensy spider. And you know what happened?
Children: "What?"
Ralph: The teensy weensy spider went up the waterspout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
And the teensy weensy spider went up the spout again
And you know what that song is about?
EXISTENTIALISM.
Children: "Existentialism..."
Ralph: Yeah! Big spider - little spider - They go up the spout
They get washed down - They gotta do it again!
That's existentialism!
Children: "Exi-sen-al... midgem" (laughter) "Can you say that again, Ralph?"

Repeat