Jangle Bells

Trudging through the snow with a mule tied to a shay;
The dern mule wouldn't go. We drug him all the way.
The bobtailed fool sat down like he was outta breath.
It took all night to get him home and we dern near froze to death.

Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, O what misery!
Don't hitch up old Dobbin if you're comin' after me.
Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, Jangle all the way.
You can have your open shay, I'll keep my Chevrolet.

Sliding down a hill on an old ramshackle sled,
Laughing fit to kill at something someone said.
Forgot to watch the road, not watchin' where we went.
We ran into a barbed wire fence and got our Christmas Spirits skinned.

Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, I have paid the price.
Busted bones, aches and groans from fallin' on the ice.
Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, Dashin' through the hills.
All we'll get for Christmas is a flock of doctor bills.

Slippin' down the street on an old banana peel.
Could not stay on my feet; they were slicker than an eel.
My feet flew in the air and I let out a yell.
I landed on my pocketbook and I broke my jangle bell.

Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, ringin' in my head.
Oh what fun it is to slip and slither on a sled.
Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, Like the wise man said,
Be careful where you slide or you'll spend Christmas Day in bed.

I've got an old tom cat and Santa is his name.
I keep him nice and fat but he hates me just the same.
He got at me today with those needles in his paws.
And now I'm a'wearin' bandages on account of Santa's Claws.

Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, Jangle all the way.
We don't know all the words but we'll sing it anyway.
Jangle Bells, Jangle Bells, Ringin' loud and gay.
We'll be hearin' Jangle Bells from now till Christmas Day.