Isaac's Lament

He walks over to the window
And without a hesitation he goes out
I walk over to the window
And I see him hit the sidewalk like a trout
With a moment's indecision
I can almost see him moving
Then I see the splattered pavement
And I feel it's almost soothing
'Cause I know he didn't suffer
Any more than was the norm
He lived life the way he found it
And he left it true to form

He was standing by the TV
When I saw his eyes roll upward in his head
I came over to the TV
Just to find out what the anchorman had said
With a little human interest
And some filler for the waiting
They were speaking of replacements
And a failure in the ratings
And my friend looked pale then paler
As his body lost his breath
And I listened and discovered
What would send him to his death

Oh Gopher, Gopher's being fired
Contracts have expired
Love has been retired
Buried out at sea

Every afternoon in college
He'd sit down and pour himself another brew
Just as soon forsake his knowledge
For an hour's entertainment with the crew
With a tub of buttered popcorn
And a can or two of soda
He gets sucked into the program
Like he has to make some quota
'Cause he knows what's gonna happen
'Cause he's seen them all before
And the endless double takes
Just make him want it even more

Oh Isaac, Isaac's over tired
Julie's been unhired
Love is uninspired
Sinking in the bay
The Love Boat
Love Boat's dropped it's anchor
Bought out by some banker
Hired out as a tanker
Drifting far away

Oh Aaron Spelling you're a genius
No one could have seen this
Running all these years
(Won't you tell us)
Aaron, where'd you get the notion
Love upon the ocean
Blazing new frontiers

When he heard the sad decision
There was sorrow and confusion in the home
He turned off the television
And he came to his conclusion on his own
With a sigh of desperation
He gave in to his depression
He went out to greet the concrete
Where he made his last impression
And the papers want a statement
'Cause the public wants to know
Was it just the cancellation
Of a favorite TV show

The Love Boat
Love Boat's slowly sinking
Vicki's started thinking
Merrill has been drinking
One more for the road
The Love Boat
Love Boat has been grounded
Doc is still dumbfounded
All aboard's been sounded
No where left to go