Big Day in a Small Town

Momma got a call from the principal's office
Better get down here fast
'Cause Mindy passed out when her water broke
In the middle of geometry class

Her momma didn't know she was nine months late
Been gettin' on her 'bout gainin' weight
And now she's a grandma

Somebody had a baby
Somebody had a breakdown
Ah, it's a big day in a small town

Willie Smith swore he wouldn't miss one more
Of Junior's football games
Got his twelve pack of Bud
And his Friday night buzz
Headin' south in the northbound lane

Junior's in the end zone, halfback pitch
Willie's sittin' upside down in a ditch
And the crowd goes wild

Somebody wrecked a pick-up
Somebody scored a touchdown
Ah, it's a big day
In a small town

There ain't no mall, no Waffle House
But there's always something to talk about
Around here
Somebody shot a deer
Somebody's gettin' married
Or buried, or carried away
If the sun comes up, and the sun goes down
Ah, it's a big day
In a small town

Rumor goin' around 'bout a Methodist man
And a jailbait check out queen
His wife caught wind of unspeakable sin
Goin' down on aisle thirteen

She left all the chicken in the fryin' pan
Threw all the kids in the Grand Caravan
With a baseball bat

Somebody went to Wal-Mart
In nothin' but a nightgown
Oh, it's a big day
In a small town

There ain't no mall, no Waffle House
But there's always something to talk about
Around here
Somebody shot a deer
Somebody's gettin' married
Or buried, or carried away
If the sun comes up, and the sun goes down
Ah, it's a big day
In a small town