Cocktail Counterpoint

I joined the Foreign Legion with a sabre in my hand
And crawled across the desert with my belly in the sand
With men who loved their camels and their brandy, and I swear
Nobody dished, nobody swished
When I was a foreign Legionnaire

Would anyone like an h'orderve?
Here let me help, Mama? Papa?
Oh what adorable dishes, are these youngsters playing together?
They look like Greeks

Oh, what lovely dishes
They're so delicate and frail
Mine have naked people
I believe they're only male
Oops, I think they're playing some exotic, little game

Oops, I think that "leap-frog" is it's name!
My mother, the wife of my father, begs your forgiveness
She shouldn't be delayed much longer

This is even worse than I feared
The son is strange
The father is weird
To meet the wife, I'm actually afraid
I prefer that Anne remain an old maid

You know my wife and I are a devoted couple
My son knows I love him and to what extremes
But my wife, I love her like an animal

It's appalling to confess
Our new in-laws are a mess
She's a prude, he's a prig
She's a pill, he's a pig
So zis, zis, zis for you, Papa!

I joined the Foreign Legion with a sabre in my hand
Oh, what lovely dishes, they're so delicate and frail
This is even worse than I feared
It's appalling to confess, our new in-laws are a mess
And crawled across the desert with my belly in the sand
Mine have naked people, I believe they're only male
The son is strange, the father is weird
She's a prude, he's a prig
With men who loved their brandy and their camels, and I swear
Oops, I think they're playing some exotic, little game
To meet the wife, I'm actually afraid
She's a pill, he's a pig
Nobody dished, nobody swished, when I was a foreign Legionnaire
Oops, I think that "leap-frog" is it's name!
I prefer that Anne remain an old maid
So zis, zis, zis for you, Papa!
I joined the Foreign Legion with a sabre in my hand
Oh, what lovely dishes, they're so delicate and frail
This is even worse than I feared
It's appalling to confess, our new in-laws are a mess
And crawled across the desert with my belly in the sand
Mine have naked people, I believe they're only male
The son is strange, the father is weird
She's a prude, he's a prig
With men who loved their brandy and their camels, and I swear
Oops, I think they're playing some exotic, little game
To meet the wife, I'm actually afraid
She's a pill, he's a pig
Nobody dished, nobody swished, when I was a foreign Legionnaire
Oops, I think that "leap-frog" is it's name!
I prefer that Anne remain an old maid
So zis, zis, zis for you, Papa!

Here's Mother!