Can You Do Me a Kindness?

I don't go outside as much as I used to
I'm not home just in my house forgetting myself or at least trying to
But not forgiving until I come back out
I have a light on in my room during the day I hardly notice it
But at night it keeps me from falling asleep
I have this dream of knowing you, during the day I hardly notice it
But at night it keeps me from all other dreams
The numbing of time taught me how to finally fall asleep
I just wish you'd come home and teach me how to wake back up
This is torture, this is truth, this is unfamiliar pain
This is following an ache but this is love

There's a railroad track behind my house at night I can hear a freight being taken to retail
But I'm still not sold on letting myself out
I never knew it was cold until I knew how the heat felt
You were always warm when put in one place
But I was too shallow to contain the same flame
There's a nicotine patch on my nightstand
You never did quit, but at least you tried
Or maybe you did but I never saw you lift a cigarette to your lips
I was preoccupied looking into my reflection and the way you said you felt alive

Your infection inflects the walls each night
And the shades of colour are all black and white
Just like your goodbye
You said to stop letting your love consume my mind
I never did quit, but at least you tried
I don't go outside as much as I used to
I'm not home, I'm just trying to sleep at night
Forgetting your love or at least trying to
You said goodbye, now just say goodnight