Watching the Waiting

When I made my plan
There were some things for which I did not account
I could not have seen myself here
In a place I've been before
Seeing everything all over
As if I could really know
As if I am sure
And you say it's about time
But you know I'm not used to having enough
And there is nowhere I need to go
And there is nothing left to do
And I am sitting watching myself
Watching you
Watching the waiting
When I move to stand
My muscle memory is keeping me up
Real memory is also similarly cruel
To see his face in front of me
Out of the blue, for no reason at all
And I don't suppose
I'll be able to tell him how sorry I am
But like the guard settles in for another long night
I keep watch for a danger and I may not recognize
But I keep my eyes open
All I know is this
There are times when, to me
You seem to glow from within
And I wonder how this moment could possibly be
And how much was of my choosing
And what chose me
And I couldn't care less
When it all adds up
And I feel I am closest to what I really am
And there is nowhere I need to go
And there is nothing left to do
And I am sitting watching myself
Watching you
Watching the waiting