Mark Twain

Many years ago on the Mississippi riverboats
They had men called gaugers
And the job of a gauger was to hang off the side of the boat with one hand
And in the other hand he had a ball of twine with a hunk a lead on the end of it
He'd wield the lead around his head and let it fly into the water
Wherever the water marked the twine
He'd call up to the skipper and say
"Marking on the twine is four fathoms"

Of course day in and day out, year after year, this would get pretty monotonous
Until in the 1800's a little man came along and revolutionized the whole gauging industry
Instead of saying marking on the twine
He cut it short and said, "Mark Twain"
And in between each marking he'd fill it in with a little pattern about himself
And his every day life
Well if you'd been livin' at that time
Coming up from a distance on the Mississippi
It would have sounded like this

Mark Twain
Four fathoms off the starboard bow
I got a gal named Cindy-Lou
Feeds me gin and bake beans too
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
Three fathoms off the starboard bow
I got a friend his name is Pete
Sings dirty songs down on Beel street
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
Two fathoms off the starboard bow
I've been working the river since '92
I get a penny a day and bad liquor too
Mark Twain

I won't save my money 'til I die
They gon' bury me all but my good right eye
Mark Twain

Mark Twain
No fathoms off the starboard bow
Look out skipper pull it to the side
You gon' bust your bow and split your hide
Ooh, great God we done run aground
Skipper gon' chase me with a big bloodhound
Mark Twain