The Man I Had to Become

The Man I Had to Become
Astral Cloud Ashes

A question mark 'cause it's getting dark,
In the living room, where you wait for me,
As I'm coming home late again,
This is the man I had to become.

It's 8pm and I'm still with the man,
Well I know you made dinner,
And I know you had plans but I can't,
And they wouldn't understand,
They told me twelve more months,
I can be anyone I want,
In this place.

You know it makes me mad. The way we're living.
Just the turnaround.
You know it makes me mad, just the honesty and
I'm the man I had to become.

My tired hands, on the office van,
Tell you everything, with the window down,
And I've grown to like this life.
This is the man I had to become.
The wind in my sails, but my sails disappeared,
I get one more chance before my band goes weird,
And I'm geared, incrementally feared,
As the man who used no hands, yet still steered.
10pm, I pull up on the driveway, and walk in,
It's not enough, to say to you, it's a long day, I get it.

You know it makes me mad. the way we're living.
Just to turn around.
You know it makes me mad, just the honesty and
I'm the man I had to become.

Walk on the pavement, turn up at 9.00,
Tick the boxes, drink the wine,
Act normal, live the lie,
Champion the cause and never ask why,
No jobs, no bosses,
No trade off, no review
No embitterment, no regret,
No commitment to a timeline.