You Are What You Is

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham

You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it is

A foolish young man
From a middle class family
Started singin' the blues
'Cause he thought it was manly

Now he talks like the Kingfish (Saffie!)
From Amos 'n' Andy (Holy mack'd dere, Holy makl'e dere)
He tells you tht chitlins (chitlins!)
Well, they taste just like candy

He thinks that he's got
The whole thing down
From the Nivea Lotion
To the Royal Crown

Do you know what you are?
You are what you is
You is what you am
A cow don't make ham

You ain't what you're not
So see what you got
You are what you is
An' that's all it is

A foolish young man
Of the Negro persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian

He stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
He traded his dashiki (Uhuru!)
For some Jordache Jeans

He learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself
"I ain't no nigger no more"

"I don't understand you" (BWANA MA-COO-BAH)
"Could you please speak more clearly?"
MERCEDES BENZ

Who is who? (I don't know)
An' what is what? (Somethin' I just don't know)
An' why is this? (Tell me now)
Appropriot (that's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one)

If you don't like (where'd you get that word?)
What you has got (appropriot? The word is not)
Drop it in the dirt (drop it yeah)
An' let it rot (I can smell it now)

Someone else (here they come, here they come)
Will surely come (I told you they was comin'!)
An' pick it up (that's right)
'Cause he wants some (an' he wants it for free)

And when one day (there will come a day)
You wonder who (I wonder too)
You used to was (who I was anyway)
An' what you do (I used to work at the post office)

You'll scratch your head (but I don't wanna undo my do)
An' look around (just to see what's goin' on)
But what you lost (can't seem to find it)
Will not be found (a Mercedes Benz)

Do you know what you are (I know)
You are what you is (I'm the kinda guy)
You is what you am (that ought to be drivin')
A cow don't make ham (a four-fifty SLC)

You ain't what you're not (a big ol' red one)
So see what you got (with some golf clubs stickin' out the trunk)
You are what you is (I'm goin' down to the links on Saturday mornin')
An' that's all it is (gimme a five dollar bill)

You are what you is (and an overcoat too)
And that's all it is (where's my waitress? Yeah)
You are what you is (Robbie, take me to Greek Town)
And that's all it is (I'm harder than your husband, harder than your husband)

You are what you is (I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all)
And that's all it is (I'm goin' down an' work the wall an' work the floor)
You are what you is (an' work the pipe an' work the wall)
And that's all it is (some more)