Friend Like Me

Master, I don't think you quite realize what you got here!
So, why don't you just ruminate,
While I illuminate the possibilities!

Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves,
Scheherazade had a thousand tales.
Well master, you in luck, 'cause up your sleeve
You've got a brand of magic never fails

You've got some power in your corner now!
Some heavy ammunition in your camp!
You got some punch, pizzaz, yahoo and how.
See, all you gotta do is rub that lamp, and I'll say:

"Mr. Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down?"
You ain't never had friend like me, no no

Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre'd
Say whisper what it is you want;
You ain't never had friend like me!

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service.
You're the boss, the king, the shah.
Say what you wish; it's yours, true dish.
How 'bout a little more baklava?

Have some of column A try all of column B,
I'm in the mood to help you, dude.
You ain't never had friend like me, no no

Oh my. No no no. Oh my.
Can your friends do this?
Can your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this
Out their little hat?
Can your friends go poof?
Well looky here.
Can your friends go abracadabra, let her rip,
And then make the sucker disappear?

So don't just sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed,
I'm here to answer all your mid-day prayers,
You've got me bona fide certified;
You've got a genie for charge d'affaires.

I've got a powerful urge to help you out,
So what you wish, I really wanna know?
You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt,
See all you've gotta do is rub like so, and oh -

Mr. Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three.
I'm on the job you big nabob!
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,
You ain't never had a friend like me.

You ain't never had a friend like me.