The Funeral

Her mother holds her father
While she weeps on his shoulder
Their daughters brought down the isle
But this isn't her wedding day
The coffins on the alter
And the incense burns my eyes
The priest starts by saying
"God, why take this life away?"
At this point her mother
Breaks down in sorrow
She calls me a monster
And tears stream down
Her face (her face)
What am I to say?

My eyes fill too
But not of tears, but of hatred
Self loathing, foreboding
I feel their eyes stare upon me
And I turn, to face them
The dead eyed population
Staring me down
Wishing it was me they were putting in the ground

So I unfold the paper
I can't take the pain much longer...

"I can't put words to paper
On the pain we all feel
But I know as you all stare at me
That I'm the one to blame
So condone me, disown me
Bring me down to my knees
I deserve it all anyway"

My voice starts to break
As tears stream down my face
It's not over, but it's over
I can't take this heartbreak
Anymore

So we filed out and the music played
Her coffin wearing bouquets
Her mother's crying, we were crying
The weather reflected our pain
We all drove down to the hole where we will put her
Six feet down, but raising up from me
I stood alone in the pouring rain

As the days go by
I find it harder to get up
I'm asphyxiated by your presence
Like a shadow over my shoulder
But truth is, I don't care
I'd rather feel something there
Than never feel you here at all

I wish I got to hold you close
One last time
and not let go
Not travel to the great divine
Because I knew that would be my last goodbye
I won't see you on the other side.

I stood alone in the pouring rain
Shrouded by my shame
I can't even hold on to what I love
Without it slipping away
I tore my own heart out
And threw it in her grave
I guess I never needed it
Standing alone in the pouring rain