Bigger Fish to Fry

I said a bad word when I was a kid,
and momma said that I'd be sorry for the sin that I did,
My daddy whooped me,
and the preacher said shame,
and I tried like hell to change;

I cuss, I smoke, I laugh at dirty jokes;
The minor vices, man I know 'em well;
I've closed down bars;
I've lusted in my heart,
My exes think I oughta burn in hell;
but the devil, he won't notice, when I die,
Yeah don't ya figure,
he's got bigger fish to fry.
Politicians taking pork barrel bribes;
Crooked CEOs are gettin' off with no time,
Christmas Eve burglers stealing good children's toys,
(Can't say Christmas)
Holiday burglers stealing good children's toys

I cuss, I smoke, I laugh at dirty jokes;
The minor vices, man I know 'em well;
I've closed down bars;
I've lusted in my heart,
My ex thinks that I oughta burn in hell;
but the devil, he won't notice, when I die,
Yeah don't ya figure,
he's got bigger fish to fry.
(Serve 'em up)
Yeah there's gonna be a bonfire burnin'
An everlastin' barbecue.
But with all the bad stuff goin' on
There ain't gonna be room - for me and you.

'Cause we cuss, we smoke, we laugh at Tater's jokes.
(Tell one Jim)
(You know you're old when your wife says honey let's run upstairs and make love
And your answer is I cannot do both.)
The minor vices, man we know 'em well
We've closed down bars, we've lusted in our hearts
Our exes the we oughta burn hell
But the devil, he won't notice, when we die;
Hey don't ya figure, he's got bigger fish to fry.

Yeah, don't ya figure, he's got bigger fish to fry.
Pass the tartar sauce.

When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be...