Roots

i remember what dad said to me, he said john, your mother is gone.
he asked, how do you feel about it?
i said; i just feel dumb.he said to me; exactly,
but you're my only son, just you and me and god now.
and then he sat there numb.
i said that god is dead to me, he died along with mom.
there's a new captain aboard, his name's no longer john.
noone will ever cry for her,
and if they do, its because they're drunk.
finally he lied to me that we will make it through this too.
"we've been through worse than this
before, and i'll take care of you."
many years (human timeline) have
passed now, and today it just sank in;
everything has gone straight to hell and i don't know how to begin.
we all drink ourselves close to you, and we are gladly doing drugs.
making music, rackin beer and hangin out with thugs.
problems with relationsships cuz i just can't relate.
i wake up come what may feeling nothing but loath and hate.
so i sit down and i reflect on where it all went wrong.
what drove you to go this way and why you died so young.
all i know is all of us you left behind went mad.
my brother, my sister, your mother,
your brother, your sisters and me and dad.
now i respect your person and your choice and what you did.
i've learned alot about death from you ever since i was a kid.
now everything is a mess, and i'm just sayin, cuz it's true:
there are no hard feelings, but this is all because of you.