Piano Lesson

Mama, a man with a suitcase has been following me all over town
Oh, who?
I never saw him before!
Did he say anything?
He tried
Did you say anything?
Mama, of course not!

Now, don't dawdle, Amber, let's play your exercise

So, do, la, re, ti, mi
A little slower and please keep the fingers curved
As nice and high as you possibly can

Don't get faster, dear
If you don't mind my sayin' so
It wouldn't've hurt ya to have found out what the gentleman wanted
I know what the gentleman wanted
What, dear?
You'll find it in Balzac

Excuse me for living, but I never read it

Neither has anyone else in this town
There you again with that same old comment
About the low mentality of River City people
And taking it all too much to heart

Now, Mama!
As long as the Madison Public Library was entrusted to me
For the purpose of improving River City's cultural level
I can't help my concern
That the ladies of River City
Keep ignoring all my counsel and advice

But darlin'!

When a woman has a husband and you've got none
Why she should take advice from you?
Even if you can quote Balzac and Shakespeare
And all them other high-falutin' Greeks

Mama, if you don't mind my sayin' so
You have a bad habit
Of changing ev'ry subject

No, I haven't changed the subject
I was talkin' bout that stranger

What stranger?

With the suitcase!
Who may be your very last chance

Mama, do you think I'd allow a common masher, now really, Mama
I have my standards where men are concerned
And I have no intention-

I know all about your standards
And if you don't mind my sayin' so
There's not a man alive who could hope to measure up
To that blended Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat, and Noah Webster
You've concocted for yourself out of your Irish imagination
Your Iowa stubbornness
And your library full of books!