The Raven

Soon he scored a success with a haunting verse
Of which some of you may have heard
Involving the love of a certain Lenore
And a very persistent bird
And he suddenly found he was talk of the town
With everyone singing his praise
"You really must read his Annabel Lee
And the mystery of Marie Rogêt!"
(Uh-huh!)
"It's fabulous, oh, and the House of Usher
And his accord in Pym of Nantucket,"
(Yes!)
"And William Wilson - It's good, very good
I've never read anything like it!"
(Oh!)
Soon invitations began to pour in
To attend literary soirées
"They're going to love you,"
In all the best homes of the city
"You're going to be simply amazed!"

Once upon a midnight dreary
While I pondered weak and weary
Over many a quaint and curious
Volume of forgotten lore
While I nodded, nearly napping
Suddenly there came a tapping
As of someone gently rapping
Rapping at my chamber door
'Tis some visitor, I muttered
Tapping at my chamber door
Only this and nothing more
Only this and nothing more

Sweet Lenore
Hath gone before
With hope that flew beside
Leaving him wild
For the dear child
That should have been his bride

Then again I heard a tapping
Ever such a gentle rapping
'Tis the wind and nothing more
'Tis the wind and nothing more
But the rapping just grew stronger
Hesitating then no longer
I did open wide the door
Darkness there and nothing more
Deep into that darkness peering
Long I stood there, wondering, fearing
When I heard a word there spoken
T'was the whispered word, Lenore

Sweet Lenore
Hath gone before
With hope that flew beside
Leaving him wild
For the dear child
That should have been his bride

Then in there flew an ancient raven
Ghastly, grim, ungainly raven
And above my chamber door
It perched and sat and nothing more
"Prophet!" Said I, "Thing of Evil!"
Prophet, still, if bird or devil
By that Heaven that bends above us
By that God we both adore
Tell this soul with sorrow laden
If within the distant Aidenn
It shall clasp a sainted maiden
Whom the angels name Lenore

Tell me
(Nevermore!)
Is there balm in Gilead
(Nevermore!)
Tell me, tell me
(Quoth the raven,)
I implore
(Nevermore!)

Quoth the raven
(Nevermore!)
Nevermore!
(Nevermore!)
Quoth the raven
(Quoth the raven)
Nevermore
(Nevermore)

Quoth the raven
(Nevermore!)
Nevermore!
(Nevermore!)
Quoth the raven
(Quoth the raven)
Nevermore
(Nevermore)

Quoth the raven
(Nevermore!)
Nevermore!
(Nevermore!)
Quoth the raven
(Quoth the raven)
Never!

And the raven still is sitting
There above my chamber door
And my soul from out its shadow shall be lifted
Nevermore

"Oh, Mr. Poe!"
"Mrs. Whitman."
"Wha-aah!"
"Ms. Fuller."
"Ah-hahaha! Ah-hahaha! Oh!"
"Um... Hello?
Ladies?
Edgar?
Hm!"

Now, Rufus, although he admired Edgar greatly
Envied his newfound success
And envy can shrink a man
Twist what is noble and great
Into something much less
Thus Rufus set out to discredit the friend
Who for so many years he had known
Which wasn't too hard as Edgar had already done
A formidable job of his own
His affair with the bottle, you see, had resumed
And with it his conduct grown frightful
(Leave me!)
Unpredictable! Worse, unreliable!
Even mean, vindictive and spiteful
(Ladies!)
So Rufus spread a nasty rumour
Suggesting a torrid affair
Between Edgar and one Mrs. Samuel Osgood
(No!)
The wife of an old millionaire!
(Oh!)
And almost as suddenly as his success arrived
It was taken away
(Griswold?)
And Edgar found he was no longer welcome
In the very best homes of the day
(Ta-ta!)
What's more, he lost his job
Bill Burton, his boss, was fed up, was appalled
(You're fired!)
And to add insult to injury
He hired in his place
Rufus Griswold!
"Quoth the raven
Nevermore! Ahahahaha! Ahahahaha!"