Permanent for Me

I wake up at 8 a.m.,
Kiss her face and worry about the day ahead.
Make the bed while i'm still in it
a trick I learned from the internet
okay?
(okay)
I take my dose of aderoll
5 miligrams should be enough today
Cause I can't focus on anything
that isn't on my phone or a video game
anymore.
I don't like being home
I feel my roots begin to grow
into a ground that was never meant to be
permanent for me.
Permanent for me.
Next to the piano bench on Christmas day I asked her to marry me
and she said yes.
We spent the whole day traveling from house to house
to tell our families.
And that night she asked knowingly,
"What does this mean for our plans of leaving
for the west coast?"
I said, "Cassy, just one more year then we'll make our move away from here.
I swear, I swear, I swear.
I think, I hope, I swear."
She said, "I can't stand living here the more I do the more I fear, the ground below us will slowly come to be permanent for me."
Permanent for me.

Should I let my heart get swallowed by the fear of giving in?
Or stay hidden here forever on the beach of indifference?
The longer its infront of me
the less clear it becomes

Do I want this to be
permanent for me?