How It's Going Down

I struggle with self confidence, I need help, obvious
I'm still hanging with people I've got zip in common with
Sipping up out the bottle withholding the urges of going all out
To fall in love with this, or to fall down
Clearing the fog out, give it my all now's what I'm fixed on
But look in the mirror, been tryna find you, you've been on some shit dog
I've been mad at me, family saying you can spit, dog
Like, you've got a gift but take a look at how you live, dog

Early twenties, I'm surely read to take a dive for it
My moment, but I'm focused on getting high for it
And maybe if I stayed in I'd get around to it
But what's one more night of hitting the town to me?
I said this is my last time, so I gotta have mine
Tell me where the drinks, where the bitches with the bad side

I'ma need a whole round, make 'em all doubles
Gotta keep the hos around, know they all trouble
I should be at the crib, really going all out
But you know how it is, that ain't how it's going down
I'm spending what I don't have, put it on credit
Not thinking about the future though, this is all present
I should be at the crib, really going all out
But you know how it is, that ain't how it's going down

I've just been flirting with the thought of it, and swerving all the options
Of probably being the hottest, if I really gave my all to it
Attention level so trash, tension up in my forecast
Commitment fearing, I've got a problem with getting bored fast
I'm planning out my future, and it's scary as shit
Thinking, "Am I gonna find a chick who wants to marry the kid?"
Let's say I find her and it fails due to the variance in
Me getting buried in myself, and getting married to this

I think I'm lazy and don't deserve it, afraid that they'll take the curtains
And close them before I notice I'm fake to myself, and nervous
At the fact that I might never see myself get around to it
But what's one more night of hitting the town to me?

I'ma need a whole round, make 'em all doubles
Gotta keep the hos around, know they all trouble
I should be at the crib, really going all out
But you know how it is, that ain't how it's going down
I'm spending what I don't have, put it on credit
Not thinking about the future though, this is all present
I should be at the crib, really going all out
But you know how it is, that ain't how it's going down

Okay, I wish I could change now, instead of feeling chained down
Feel like I've been stuck in last place up in the race, while
None of my people stayed around, main gal only real one that really stayed down
You deserve it all, you my muh-fuckin' main squeeze
Pen in hand, swear the boy been stroking like a brain bleed
Stay please, I just want to take you out, and show you off
Brag about you, we can show them all what's really going on

I'm talking about blood, sweat, and tears, or drunk sex, and cheers
For accomplishments not worthy of honor, and it's been years
Since I had the feeling I could really do it, and some
Refuse to run from abusing fun, but excuses are done

This is my last time, I gotta have mine
So where the drinks, where the bitches with the bad side?
I said this is my last time, I gotta have mine
So where the drinks, where the bitches with the bad side?

I'ma need a whole round, make 'em all doubles
Gotta keep the hos around, know they all trouble
I should be at the crib, really going all out
But you know how it is, that ain't how it's going down
I'm spending what I don't have, put it on credit
Not thinking about the future though, this is all present
I should be at the crib, really going all out
But you know how it is, that ain't how it's going down