Somebody Has Got to Take the Blame

I infantilize my daughter
I'm controlling, I'm a pill
I micro-micromanage
I'm all up in her grill
It's called parenting
I demand that she be perfect
All that pressure, all that fuss
I'm a parenting disaster
Don't you think so?
Let's discuss

Forgive my darling mother and forget each thing she said
Put the blame where it belongs now
Squarely on my head
I'm reckless and I'm feckless
I go and get tattoos
I think it's called a tramp stamp
I can show you if you choose
No no no no no, at least she doesn't smoke like me, I smoke!
My faults are much too numerous to name
It's awful to admit, but that's the game
Somebody has got to take
Somebody has got to take
Somebody has got to take the blame
Aha, it's a single-parent family
So you both are filled with rage
Her development arrested at the pre-preverbal stage
Or it could be ADHD, ADD or STDs
I suggest that you try ritalin and yoga and soy cheese
Soy cheese?
This is asinine
She's functionally unpunctual, she's robbed us and she's rude
Excuse me, es mi hija, so perder, la attitude!
She's intelligent
Ya hear that?
But unfocused, barely there
I think she smokes the ganja
She does not!
I don't?
I swear!
She's wasting her potential just the same
It's not her fault if she's too bright to tame
But somebody has got to take
Somebody has got to take
Somebody has got to take the
Enough with all the blaming and the shaming, no, you hush!
The armchair, analyzing and the psycho babble mush
I'm a teacher, I should reach her
So the failure here is mine
She's bright and she's articulate
Her heart and mind are fine
In all this finger-pointing, this crusade
No one thought to check her file
To see she struggled for a while
Since the seventh grade
The year dad passed away
Just say died, he died
Oh honey, I've been thoughtless and for years
I never thought your anger stood for tears
It's clear to me I have to take the
Listen, do we have to do this now?
I'd rather not discuss it, anyhow
Is high school counselor BS all the same?
'Cause nobody has got to take the blame
Let's wrap this up
Dr. Aaron, I appreciate all the feedback
From now on, I'm going to be really good
But somebody has got to take the blame!
Oh, can it, Kevin!