Mr Mistofelees (From "Cats")

You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees
The original conjuring cat
Please, listen to me...
And don't scoff
All his inventions are of his own bat

There's no such cat
In the metropolis
He holds all the Pitan monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions

The greatest magicians have something to learn

And we all say
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

He is quiet and small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail

He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it was merely misplaced

You have seen it one moment
And then it is gone
But you find it next week
Lying out on the lawn

And you'll all say
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

"Presto!"

"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

His manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire

And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof
At least we all heard that somebody purred
Which is uncontestable proof

Of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
When he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago
This phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens
Right out of a hat

And we'll all say
"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

"Oh, well I never, was there ever
A cat so clever as magical
Mr. Mistoffelees"

Ladies and gentlemen
I give you the magical, Marvelous Mr. Mistoffelees

"Presto!"