Busted

Why? Why would I do this?
I have a tattoo on my under-age backside!

Busted, you're busted!
I knew somehow that you could never truthfully be trusted
A tattoo?
What were you thinking!
Perfect skin is not for inking!
I won't have you be the star of
Girls Gone Wild!
Oh, no, you're busted, busted!
My child

I smoke?
Torrey, throw these away!
Enabler
Ah, that's why my mouth tastes like carpet!
Busted, you're busted!
I'm shocked, my world is rocked
And I'm a little bit disgusted
And it's not like it's no biggie
Every time you sneak a ciggie
You are setting off a tiny cancer bomb!
But now you're busted, busted!
Dear mom

And what else are you hiding?
That you never thought I'd see
And what else are you hiding
From the principal and me?
These bills are overdue
God, money, what a pain!
These books are overdue
It's money down the drain!
And here, a secret spot
Aha! I found your stash!
This is so-not-organic!
Busted, you're busted!
You're hosed now I've exposed you!
You are through, you're done and dusted!
This is sketchy and it's hinky
Although thank you for the twinkie
Cause we all need some cream filling now and then
Oh, no, you're busted, busted!
Again

Mom, seriously? Calm down!
I found your secret munchies
So where do you hide the bong?
I don't do drugs!
I eat Cheetos in bed because they comfort me!

I thought this was a scrunchie
Turns out it was a thong!
Mom, get that out of your hair!

I found your secret stash!
Candy corn?
Mom, lame!
It should be available year-round!

I checked your browser cache
Fox News? For shame!
Just looking for truth, dad!

I saw that look, oh, geez, dad!
You're hot for that au pair!
I found all your CDs, dad!
I knew that you liked Cher!

And dishonesty can hurt
And lies we can't accept
But the biggest thing I've learned
Snooping while you slept
Is with moms and dads and kids
Some secrets should be kept!
But now you're busted, you're busted!
You're fine and ever shiny
Reputation has been rusted!
You're cheeky, and you're sneaky!
And a little maladjusted
I'm muddled and befuddled
And entirely nonplussed-ed
I told you when you're older
You would wish we had discussed it
Now I'm off to find the rest that you conceal!
Oh, no, you're busted!
Yeah-huh, you're busted!
Ooh-ooh, you're busted, busted
For real

A box filled with old pasta?
That's just weird!
This necklace that I made her
Huh, it's actually not half-bad
The journal that I gave her
And the family with her dad

All these secrets that she keeps
All these things I wish I'd known
And some I'm glad I know now
But some should stay her own