Ashes

I sat here countless times
Bleeding from paper cuts, writing you letters
And thinking of how sometimes it feels I came
Just for you but
You'll never know I hate my silent corner of the world
Where you left me,
On the wrong side of the rain again

Sometimes I feel I'm as old as the stars
But I'm just waking up
Don't you see?

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ashes
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ashes
I refuse to be

And leaf by leaf it seems I lose most things
And things that stay for long I name them after him
Within

Like the greys and blues of war
This hazy afternoon is pulling me under the thumb
Of memory and regret
Like the little imperfection that gives the dream away
Right there between the girl you search for
And the girl you couldn't wait to leave
You couldn't wait to leave

It's the end of the world for someone everyday
But still.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ashes
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ashes
I refuse to be

And leaf by leaf it seems we lose most things
And things that stay for long I name them after him
Within

Tell me I'll never understand
Just tell me something
Tell me that you never really cared
That to you I'm dead
But don't blow me in the wind

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ahes
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not ashes
I refuse to be