Greg's Drinking Song

Gather ye round
And I'll tell you a tale
Of all the great times
I've had with an ale
There's joy and there's glory
More then you can think
Yes, this is what happens to me when I drink
I pee my pants, my pants
I pee my pants
I get up from the bar to find pee on my pants
I say it's water but all it takes is a glance
For people to realise I peed my pants
Wow! I did not know it was that bad!
Yes, wine can be fun
White, Rosè and Red
Til I call up my boss to say I wish he was dead
Chase down the regret with some Gin for good luck
Then steal my cousin Jim's landscaping truck
Drive home then
I puke on my cat, my cat
I puke on my cat
I fall through the doorway
And puke on my cat
Poor little Bruno did not expect that
I try for the toilet but puke on my cat
While some can enjoy
A scotch with a steak
Or one glass of wine
Then they're barely awake
For me it's much different
What happens when
I try to have one, it just turns into ten
And then...
I fly a plane, a plane
I fly a plane
I knock on the cockpit shouting,
"I'll fly this plane"
We emergency landed, the TSA came
Now I'm banned from South West
Cos I tried to fly planes
Everybody!
He had sex with a bush, a bush
He had sex with a bush
That wasn't a woman??
No, it was a bush
It had twigs and leaves
Cos it was a bush
That's where that scar comes from!
From sexing a bush
But he's breaking the cycle
And making a push
He's winning his drinking
And saving his pants and his cat
And South West and Jim's Truck
And my car!
My car too!
And a buuuuush