Summer Wages

I never saw you until the end of a twelve hour day
Time spent being screamed at
Time spent being put down
It all comes back in my nightmares
Punctuated by the back of your head
Standing in line to clock in
We're slaves to getting by
I wear headphones at night to keep my brain inside
I'm slipping into next week
It's only been one whole day
It happens in the middle of the night
The times when I'm confident
Everything I saw everyone understands
Until I power through crusted eyes

Don't tell me I need to change my perspective
Cuz I don't want to die alone
Let's crawl deep under the earth
Until we're tired of just getting by

Please don't get me wrong, it's just my summer job
I'm not in a place to quit
Although I wish I was
Satisfaction of a choice
That I haven't felt in years
Have my time for a paycheck
And I'll bring it right back to you
How much of what I believe can be achieved in all of this
Sitting anxious in my room
Eyes crusted open stare
Survival before ideology
That is what I have been taught
I'll work until I can quit
Watch me smile now