The Alchemy of Awe

I hope to break myself open
Drain this poison water
Let it flow back to its ocean
That I used to call, "Father"
Every absence is a door to walk through
But it all leads to empty rooms
And the writing on the wall says
"We were never here"

But if awe is the salve for my eyes
Then I've gone blind
We are not hard to find
But we're all lost all of the time
And I was a creature of habit
So I got myself stuck on your rabbit trails
And I'm trying hard to leave myself

When you're constantly in motion
The forest has no trees
And the one I climbed was broken
And I fell quick through its iridescent leaves
All my cravings, in your absence, moved
To lesser things that I love too
And the writing on the wall says
"We were fading quickly"

I dreamed of ropes tied 'round the rafters
But I heard your heart shatter
And I woke and cried 'till
My eyes saw things clearly
That fear would keep me here even if this life had scared me

And if awe is the salve for my eyes
Than I've gone blind
I am not hard to find
But I feel lost all of the time
I was a creature of habit
I am leaving your rabbit trails
And I am trying hard to believe myself