Radio Freestyle

The very definition of a hypocrite
This is the dictionary of regret
Thousands of words that could've been said
But not a single one is really worth being read

I talked about "Fake Friends"
But right now, I'm the fakest
I know that form of the word doesn't exist
But get off of your high horse for a minute
And listen to this
What I'm tryna say is
I guess I lost sight of my sin
While you put a barrel to your head
I was sitting at home drinking
Dealing with my own depression
My mind was changed
But yours never rested
Now you're gone

You were the first real friend that I made
Working this stupid job
Hanging out, and we even ate
When we had a day off
We made another buddy, but his name
I forgot
I wonder what happened to him, God
That's the saddest thing I've ever thought

But it's even sadder
When I used to talk about you
Behind your back, and not in the good way
We'd talk about all of your mistakes
And how you never wanted to do anything
That's something I'll never change
And I think about it every day
Sometimes I wanna quit, and leave this place
Just run away
You haunt me, I see your face
But I don't run, 'cause I know I deserve this pain

In spring
My last memory
Was when you asked to do music together
I'd rap and you'd scream
Two birds of a feather
Two branches of a leaf
Didn't know there was a reason you screamed
You had to find another way to make the pain leave
Or whatever it was that you felt inside
I'd say I understand, but I'm not gonna lie
And that's what kills me most of all
Is I'll never know why

I could have but I was the most fake friend alive
Didn't send you a text or say hey even one time
That was spring and this is fall, that was like 6 months gone by
Lost time
That's all I got
That, and a chest full of guilt
Gripping me tighter than thread sewn into a quilt
Comprised of irony, that I hand built

I hope you have a radio, to listen to this song
I don't know if you're in Heaven or not
Whether you're near or far
But if you're in Heaven, tell God that I'm lost

Wherever you are
I hope you hear this song

Brian, I hope you've got the radio on
Brian, I'm sorry for all that I've done
Brian, I'm sorry from the very bottom of my heart