Alan's First Night Out

Another Friday night and I'm fuckin' wasted
Just a few more beers and I may not make it
Back home tonight
Can I crash at your place?
Well tell me honey, do you mind?

Oh whoopty doo
Yeah this so much fun and where the hell are you?
I can't speak a lot, I think smell like puke
And I never wanna be content again
And I'm fuckin' wasted
Is this what you wanted?

And I'm not even buzzed I need another one down
Then I'm good as I was- I mean as good as I am?
I'm as good as I'll ever be
And I'm fuckin' wasted
Is this what you wanted?

I look like shit while Sam is passed out on the floor
Was gonna quit until you walked in through the door
To my surprise you looked kinda high
I coulda sworn you said you were straightedge
And didn't fuck with just any guys
So now I'll approach you (I couldn't drive)
It's plain to see I didn't have a clue (We should've died that night)
On what to say to you

(Not headed home) I hope I don't get a DUI
(Not headed home) A 300 dollar fine
(Not headed home) Thank God I got that DUI
(Not headed home) That night we could've died



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