Not a Player

I'm not a player I just suck a lot
I couldn't give a shucking fit whether we win the cup or not
In real life I can't even kick it
I've never been to a match let alone bought a season ticket(huh)
There's no denying my skill though.
I can dribble... All over my pillow
I can't do a scissor kick but I can kick scissors.
And sue whoever manufactured them for six figures
I'm a man on a mission with ambition
To be the sickest soccer kickist in my position
At school I liked playing defender a bit
So I could have a chit-chat down the end of the pitch
With my friend who was sht we used to collect stickers but we'd get suspicious even at the scent of a kit
But now Im gonna make it in the premire ship and if you don't have faith in me It'll offend me you prick.
I'm the son of a bitch
That'll run on the pitch
So awkward you'd think there was some kind of glitch
And within a couple of minutes I'll have stitch
I don't wanna put the effort in I just wanna be rich
I'm the son of a bitch
That'll run on the pitch
So awkward you'd think there was some kind of glitch
And within a couple of minutes I'll have stitch
I don't wanna put the effort in I just wanna be rich
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
I tripped over my laces and nearly grazed my knuckle off
I can't even recall a time my side won
My keepy uppy record is like none
By gum my chum
Why try when I can hide inside sat on my bum
Twiddle my thumbs on the Joypad
I'd enjoy that
Taped over the final to annoy dad
So call the boy bad
I call it fair play
I'm not a good sport
Or good at sport
Im bare bait
Stuck kicking a snare across the airwaves
Better at Rap than football I dare say
Though get in the way of my goal
And get battered
Your reputation wrecked, tattered
Sepp Blatter
I'm a proffesional Athlete
'Cept fatter
You'll never get me to a track meet
Im already knackered
(Yeah)
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
Im not a player cos I suck a lot
Im not a player cos I suck a lot