Ashtray

There's a party across town
You half agree it could be nice
But you're leaning toward
Staying in tonight
And truth be told
You can already predict
How it would all unfold
The cat keeps you company
She understands hunger
But not the crushing
Weight of poverty
It could be nice, you think
To be so naïve
As you lie on the floor
And sirens blare beyond the window
As the sounds dissolve into your head
And the needle burrows in your skin
Your thoughts converge and turn within
On who you are and what you've been
A pageant staged in a lonely room
Act One: you torn from the womb
The world is bright but has no form
Until they wipe your eyes and take you home
You rode your bike
To childhood's end
With the neighborhood kids
You'd never see again
Now you rise from the body
You hold in contempt
Into vast empty space
Once more a weeping infant
The cracks in the ceiling
Crawl across your skin
The cat leaves the room
She assumes that you're dead
It would be nice, you think
To be so free
From the crushing
Weight of poverty
From the job that grinds you down each day
And the student loans you can't repay
The rent they charge you to exist
The car you can't afford to fix
Act Two: phosphene figures dance
And recount to you your failed plans
The almost graduate degree
The best friend that you'll never meet
The songs you wrote but never sing
The girl you loved but couldn't keep
The youth you wasted staying home
Your friends grew up while you grew old
You'll never be the party's life
You'll never have a loving wife
Nothing that you say or do
Matters to anyone but you
Forget about the fickle friends
Forget the toil that never ends
The vacuity of human life
And whatever happens when you die
Forget the scars that line your heart
The family from whom you grew apart
The cold ashtray of history
Where you'll burn out in anonymity
Cause tonight
You're the only thing that exists
Your empty mind
And the infinite darkness
Act Three
The drug beckons you to sleep
You hope, as you sink in the sheets
That you won't dream