Being Haved

I came up in Queens
Had not much, more than enough
A purebred sort of a mutt
If that could exist
My moms and pops made livings put had limited funds
We shopped at Keyfood for lunch and Fayva for kicks
We'd have wreaths, lights, mistletoe, garland and such
All the most Christmasy stuff
Except for the gifts
We partied potluck
Moms ain't have a million bucks
But when I came home with a bump
She gave it a kiss
In grade school I was always at the head of the class
And was the first head in the class to get any head
Not that I condone preteens getting it on
But there is much more I know now than what I knew then
Whenever cats dissed momma I had honor to defend
When I was done throwing the fists I'd made a new friend
Even at nine, ten, wasn't about no money to spend
The only dough that I would sweat, began with "Ninten"
Ya heard

WHEN MI MADRE HOLLERED "BEHAVE"
I WOULD ALWAYS SAY "MOMMY I'M BEING HAVED"
WE'D BE IN THE STREETS GETTING WILD EVERY DAY
WHAT YOU MIGHT SEE ON TV WAS RICKI LAKE

WHEN MI MADRE HOLLERED "BEHAVE"
I WOULD ALWAYS SAY "MOMMY I'M BEING HAVED"
WE'D BE IN THE STREETS GETTING WILD EVERY DAY
BOW WOW WOW YIPPEE YO YIPPEE YAY

I ran with a team of cats too square to be hood
But we was too hard to be marks
Too cool to be nerds
We did our homework
But if you tried to play us for herbs, we'd quickly assert you wasn't saying nothing but a word
This when hip hop really starting making it's turn, and cats had stopped doing the whop for doing the worm
But major venues still thought there was too much to lose
Security at major concerts was a major concern
Weekends, I'd be hooping from the dusk to the dawn
Don't mean to boast, but in the post, I couldn't be held
My handle was type shaky but my drive to the hole
Was such a fine sight to behold that people beheld
But let me not front or fabricate a falsehood to tell
Sometimes when cats'd drop me a dime at times I would sell
But I never made a call unless I really got fouled
And almost always hit the freethrow any time I called "helds"
Well

WHEN MI MADRE HOLLERED "BEHAVE"
I WOULD ALWAYS SAY "MOMMY I'M BEING HAVED"
WE'D BE IN THE STREETS GETTING WILD EVERY DAY
WHAT YOU MIGHT SEE ON TV WAS RICKI LAKE

WHEN MI MADRE HOLLERED "BEHAVE"
I WOULD ALWAYS SAY "MOMMY I'M BEING HAVED"
WE'D BE IN THE STREETS GETTING WILD EVERY DAY
BOW WOW WOW YIPPEE YO YIPPEE YAY

My moms didn't do "timeout"
We wanted to cry she'd give us something to cry about
I humped the mattress every time that I lied down
This years before I thought of writing this rhyme out
Grown folks'd threaten putting soap into my mouth
I never seen a red cent of my allowance
But loved finding out whenever something was not allowed
Because I's down
Yeah!
Up until which chick's cutting was the topic of choice
I spent more time cutting on friends than cutting from school
I never got too crazy but I'll readily admit I used to hock loogies from roofs and pee in the pool
Before Timbo was a brand, and only a boot
I rocked gel, trying to be cute, and got ridiculed
Told the same to every gang that every tried to recruit
"I don't want no trouble homey, I'm just trying to be cool"
Yeah

WHEN MI MADRE HOLLERED "BEHAVE"
I WOULD ALWAYS SAY "MOMMY I'M BEING HAVED"
WE'D BE IN THE STREETS GETTING WILD EVERY DAY
WHAT YOU MIGHT SEE ON TV WAS RICKI LAKE

WHEN MI MADRE HOLLERED "BEHAVE"
I WOULD ALWAYS SAY "MOMMY I'M BEING HAVED"
WE'D BE IN THE STREETS GETTING WILD EVERY DAY
BOW WOW WOW YIPPEE YO YIPPEE YAY