Dust and Ashes

Is this how I die?
Ridiculed and laughed at
Wearing clown shoes

Is this how I die
Furious and reckless
Sick with booze

How did I live?
I taste every wasted minute
Every time I turned away
From the things that might have healed me
How long have I been sleeping?

Is this how I die?
Frightened like a child
Lazy and numb

Is this how I die?
Pretending and preposterous
And dumb
How did I live?
Was I kind enough and good enough?
Did I love enough?
Did I ever look up and see the moon
And the stars and the sky?
Oh, why have I been sleeping?

They say we are asleep until we fall in love
We are children of dust and ashes
But when we fall in love we wake up
And we are a God and angels weep

But if I die here tonight
I die in my sleep

All of my life has been searching the words
Of poets, and saints, and prophets, and kings
And now at the end all I know that I've learned
Is that all that I know
Is I don't know a thing

So easy to close off
Place the blame outside
Hiding in my room at night
So terrified
All the things I could've been
But I never had the nerve
Life and love I don't deserve
So I'll write, alright
I've had my time
Close my eyes
Let the death bells chime
Bury me in burgundy
I just don't care
Nothing's left
I've looked everywhere

Is this how I die?
Was there ever any other way my life could be?

Is this how I die?
Such a storm of feelings inside of me

But then, why am I screaming?
Why am I shaking?
Oh God, was there something that I missed?
Did I squander my divinity?
Was happiness within me the whole time?

They say we are asleep until we fall in love
We are children of dust and ashes
But when we fall in love we wake up
And we are a God and angels weep
But if I die here tonight
I die in my sleep
They say we are asleep until we fall in love
And I'm so ready to wake up now
I wanna wake up
Don't let me die while I'm like this
I wanna wake up
God, don't let me die while I'm like this
Please let me wake up now
God don't let me die while I'm like this
I am ready
I'm ready

To wake up