Manlyology (From "Galavant" / Demo)

Whoa, this is amazing, what's that smell?
Testosterone
Mm, musky!
If you want your wife to respect you, you have to earn her respect
You need to man up, but how?
It just so happens you're talking to a professor of the art of manhood

Lesson one: historical background
Way back in the ancient ocean lived a flabby, pitiful thing
It was soft and pale, neither female or male, rather like you, my king
This creature was lackin' a backbone, it couldn't stand tall and free
'Til it grew a spine and a pair like mine and evolved into, well, me
Now frankly, this could take you a good 10 million years
Me, I know a shortcut, may I have some volunteers?
He's looking at me, isn't he? Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

Throw back your shoulders, suck in that gut
Seize the advantage, and kick some butt
Do whatcha wanna do and violently
That's the secret of manly-ology
Any questions? Will there be a quiz?
No, movin' on

Lesson two: theory and application
Now, manhood's pretty simple, a display of relative might
Men give commands and eat with their hands- leave the toilet seat up? Damn right
Does a man ever order a spritzer? No! Does a man wear sandals with socks? No?
Does he own a cat? Yes! Sure about that? Um- Does he think a manicure rocks? Pass

Does a man mind blood in his moustache? What?
Does he care if he smells like ass? Whose?
Does he pick his nose? Ew- Bros before hos? Duh
Close enough, you pass
By George, I think I've got it
Well, we'll get you up to speed
Maybe a private lesson? Guess I volunteer
No need

Kick into action, and crack that whip
Crush all emotions, and one last tip
Don't miss your yearly colonoscopy
That's the science of manly-ology

Oh, Gareth, I can't thank you enough
Tomorrow night I shall dine with Madalena
I will show her all I've learned
Come here, you
Oi! I've only ever hugged one man in my life
It was the day my father died
I squeezed that rotten bastard to death
Right, we'll hug later, good talk
Yeah